Funniest Pond Stories-Part 1, May 2004

 


Article by: Brett Fogle

Get ready for some gut-wrenching, laugh out loud hilarious pond stories from all over the world...

(Continued from May Issue of PondStuff!)

We had some hilarious, truly gut wrenching, laugh out-loud stories sent in by some of you. Here we're going to highlight some of the funniest stories for you to read.

We had entries from all over the place , The Beauty of Basil (Inluding one all the way from THAILAND!) The competition was fierce, and to be honest - I had a really hard time deciding on one 'funniest' story, but here's a brief rundown of our entries: cats, dogs, and bunnies (?) all taking the Nestea plunge right into the water, , Tillers - How to Find the Right Tiller for the Job a hungry KOI nibbling in dangerous territory, a missing , A Guide to Vines and How to Vine Beauty with Your Garden flip flop, an electrifying experience for grandma, fun for the whole family, fish frape, and flying fish , Vegetable Garden Ideas to boot!

First, let's start with this very funny story about 'Smokey' - who apparently thinks he can walk on water. , Top 5 Secrets to Growing Beautiful Carnivorous Plants This was sent in by Mike Lachance from Maryland:

Funny Pond , Say Your Feelings with Flowers - Flower Meaning Story #1

"I wish I had a photo to share of this very true story but any ponder with cats has likely had the same experience at some time or another. Several years ago, when I was enjoying the second season of my first pond , Landscaping Can Make or Break Curb Appeal for Homebuyers (I have now built four as I've moved around), one of our cats, "Smokey", who was a natural , Your Home is Your Fortress: the Art of Garden Fencing hunter in her prime, saw a mockingbird alight on a lilly pad to get a drink of water. , Say Your Feelings with Flowers - Flower Meaning Well, old "Smokester" slowly crept out from under some day lillies and made a spectacular jump with all four paws majestically carrying her like a flying squirrel, right for that intruding bird. , Landscaping Can Make or Break Curb Appeal for Homebuyers

It is not as though she had not already had a couple of encounters with the water , Backyard Landscape Plan - Think About Your Family's Lifestyle First but that day the feathered treat must have been too much for her to pass up. Well, both my wife and I were there to see her make a wonderful belly flop into the pond. , Do It Yourself Landscaping: 6 Things You Must Know Before You Start

Of course, the bird , National Home Gardening Club was out of the way in plenty of time and I swear that that cat walked on her toes the five feet it took her to get out of the water! , Landscaping Can Make or Break Curb Appeal for Homebuyers And of course, after removing herself from the water, , Understanding Integrated Pest Management in a very nonchalant manner, proceeded to lift each leg, shake off the water , Your Home is Your Fortress: the Art of Garden Fencing and as much as say "I meant to do that, you know".

Smokey often spent time at the pond , Learn All About Feng Shui Money Trees later, using her tail to attract the fish , A Guide to Vines and How to Vine Beauty with Your Garden (she would put it in the water , A Beautiful Garden of Flowers and swish it around and the fish , Basics of Landscaping would come up to explore it. She never did catch one). She also loved to sit at the waterfall , A Guide to Vines and How to Vine Beauty with Your Garden and enjoy the water moving past her. So that is my funny pond , Outdoor Furniture and Glider-Choosing the Right Outdoor Furniture For Your Home story.

=== Funny Pond , Tips for Garden Decoration Story #2

"Dear all at McArthur,

My funniest pond , You Can Grow Your Own Herb Garden - Part 2 story is about my late aunt, who introduced me to the joy of backyard , Lap Pools Great Exercise Inside Or Any Size ponds. Donna had a large koi pond , The Garden Beckons in her backyard that she devoted endless amounts of love and attention to. As happens with most ponds, , Benefit from the Expertise of a Landscaping Contractor spring , Landscaping Can Make or Break Curb Appeal for Homebuyers brought some uninvited guests...in this case frogs. One evening Donna was working on the pond, checking the cantankerous pump , Taking Inside Comfort Outside: A Look at Outdoor Patio Heaters for the Home and filter system, and using her net to skim out leaves and what not that had blown in.

My 80+ plus year old grandmother was supervising the work and offering her expert opinion on how to , A Teak Bench: The Perfect Complement To Any Outdoor Space proceed. They were amazed at the number of frogs that had taken up residence, and not too happy about it. Donna noticed a frog swimming at the far side of the pond , Beware of Toxic Mulch that she wanted to get out...something was not quite right about the way he was swimming, and she pointed him out to Grandma. "Mom, look at that frog swimming on his back!" Grandma was a bit skeptical...frogs doing the back stroke were a phenomenon that she was unfamiliar with.

She advised that this misfit should be removed immediately. Don't want to give the other little froggies strange ideas. Donna made several attempts at scooping the miscreant up with her net, but he was just out of reach. Only one thing left to do. Roll up your shorts and wade in after him. The answer to Mr. Frogs strange swimming technique became painfully obvious as soon as Donna reached his immediate vacinity....a faulty under water light , Preparing The Garden For Winter had shorted and electrocuted him! Donna didn't need her electric rollers for a few days after that!"

Enecia Sabroff

Funny Pond , Do It Yourself Landscaping: 6 Things You Must Know Before You Start Story #3

"Hello----My husband recently bought a beagle puppy, at this time he was 8 weeks old. My husband also bought two almost, semi-tame rabbits to help train the puppy to track rabbits. At this time I only had one pond , Growing Great Potatoes that was preformed 550 gallons, my husband put one of the rabbits out to platy with the puppy, the rabbit was teasing the puppy, running a little ways then jumping over his head, then the rabbit decided he didn't want to play anymore so he started to run from Bear (the puppy), and he dove into the pond. We were thinking that Bear would go around the pond , Fences to the other side and continue chasing the bunny, but Bear just dove right in, he was so little though that he had to be rescued from the small backyard , Benefit from the Expertise of a Landscaping Contractor pond. My husband's only response was "he's going to be a good rabbit dog!" Well, thanks for listening to my story. Sincerely, Roberta Collins Toledo, Ohio

Funny Pond , Lap Pools Great Exercise Inside Or Any Size Backyard Story #4

"A story to share...

Two years ago I started with the crazy idea of building , Fences a small pond with koi , An Introduction to Bonsai Maple Trees fishes. After a lot of working I finally built it, and decorated it with all sort of plants. , National Home Gardening Club One day... mi female cat "Manchita" went to the pond , Beware of Toxic Mulch to examine this new construction. She went to the border, jumped on a flat stone , Mowing the Lawn and starter to drink water. , An Introduction to Bonsai Maple Trees To her big surprise one of the fishes , possibly thinking that the white , Pictures Of Landscaping - Using Other Peoples Ideas To Design Your Landscape nose of my cat was food, , Homemade Hydroponics System Plan jumped out of the water, , The Garden Beckons trying to eat it.. Can you imagine the surprise of the cat ? I believe that the fish , A Guide to Vines and How to Vine Beauty with Your Garden was also quite impressed with the experience. My cat almost fell into the pond , Landscaping Can Make or Break Curb Appeal for Homebuyers , .. and from then on she never went around the pond , Give a Bird a Home; Leave a Legacy again. She used to watch the pond , Selecting Your Gardening Tools from my dorm, located in the second floor and just across the pond. , Improve Garden Soil with Cover Crops Unfortunately I did not take a picture of this "accident". I am sending you a pictute of this first pond; in the meantime I did build another, larger one. Unfortunately "Manchita" is not around any more, she passed away a few month ago, from old age.. This story happened in Valdivia, a city located in the south of Chile. In this country winter , Do It Yourself Landscaping: 6 Things You Must Know Before You Start is approaching, with lots of leaves falling from the trees , Free Landscaping Ideas - How To Correctly Plant a an the plants in my pond , Your Home is Your Fortress: the Art of Garden Fencing preparing themselves to sleep for a while..." Maria Fresard

==

Funny Pond , Your Home is Your Fortress: the Art of Garden Fencing Story #5

"I have two ponds. , Wildflower Seeds - Ten Reasons Why You Should Plant... An upper and lower pond. , Outdoor Furniture and Glider-Choosing the Right Outdoor Furniture For Your Home The upper pond , Daphnes for Scent and Colour is fed by a waterfall , Basics of Landscaping with the source being the lower pond , Give a Bird a Home; Leave a Legacy (driven by a pump). The lower pond , Lap Pools Great Exercise Inside Or Any Size Backyard is fed by an overflow of the upper pond that flows underground for about 70 feet (12 in drain pipe). Last summer I rescued some trout fingerlings from a seasonal stream going dry near my home. , Growing and Preserving Cut Flowers I put them in the lower pond. , Give a Bird a Home; Leave a Legacy This spring I was sitting in my kitchen , Say Your Feelings with Flowers - Flower Meaning and could see something flopping on my water fall. , Improve Garden Soil with Cover Crops The trout had migrated up the overflow tube and were trying to swim further upstream via the water falls. , Tips for Garden Decoration No so funny but does show the strength of nature. , Learn All About Feng Shui Money Trees Just a few weeks ago, Egrets found the pond , Lap Pools Great Exercise Inside Or Any Size Backyard and the fish. , Lap Pools Great Exercise Inside Or Any Size Backyard

There is nothing left to migrate at this time. Not so funny but does an Egret taste anything like a turkey when cooked?"

Tom Gegenheimer

==

Funny Pond , Beware of Toxic Mulch Story #6

"We have only had a pond , The Beauty of Basil for a short time ... details can be seen at http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/

The funny story must include the workmen (in Thailand) who took zero safety , Preparing The Garden For Winter precautions when constructing the pond. , Landscaping Can Make or Break Curb Appeal for Homebuyers

Watching guys shovelling concrete , Lap Pools Great Exercise Inside Or Any Size Backyard from a lorry and spreading it across the bottom of the pond , Tip-top Trailing Plants for Containers ... when the footwear they had was just 'flip-flops' resulted in great entertainment .... especially when. several times, the flip flops came off and were lost in the cement somewhere (eventually found while they walked around bare footed) .... pictures at

http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03062.jpg
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03070.jpg
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03060.jpg

Strangely it was only the guys .... the women laborers all wore Wellington boots .... maybe this reflects on which of the sexes is really the most sensible?" Regards, Chris

==

Funny Pond , Selecting Your Gardening Tools Story #7

"I am building , Growing and Preserving Cut Flowers a pond , The Beauty of Basil at this time and I was in the process of building a waterfall , You Can Grow Your Own Herb Garden - Part 2 in the corner of a fence. The waterfall , Backyard Landscape Plan - Think About Your Family's Lifestyle First is about 3 feet high and 7 feet wide. I thought I was finishing up the waterfall , Growing and Preserving Cut Flowers with some flat , Tip-top Trailing Plants for Containers rock on the very top. So I straddeled thewaterfall with my knees on the second ledge and set the flat , Vegetable Garden Ideas rock on top. When I did this the whole waterfall , Do It Yourself Landscaping: 6 Things You Must Know Before You Start fell down because I build it on blocks and not a pile of dirt.

When it fell one big rock caught my foot and I slide down the fall and fell backwards into the pond , A Beautiful Garden of Flowers going all the way under and had a couple of big rocks come down on me. Meanwhile my wife is laughing her butt of at me and I asked her to help me out she slipped on the flat , The Beauty of Basil wet rock that surounded the ponds , A Beautiful Garden of Flowers edge and half way fell in with me.

Now my two boys were playing in the yard , Basics of Landscaping they are 5 and 3 and saw this happen to us and they thought it was time to got swimming so guess who jumped into the pond , A Beautiful Garden of Flowers with us, the boys. Nothing like having the whole family in on the pond. , A Beautiful Garden of Flowers We laughed for awhile but then I had to rebuild the whole waterfall , Beware of Toxic Mulch again and this time I put the top rocks on from the side."

Robert H Coppa Jr.

==

Funny Pond , The Garden Beckons Story #8

I decided 300 gallons would be perfect. I did all the math and spent a great deal of time working with more experienced ponders. Somehow when it was all said and done my little 300 gallon pond , The Beauty of Basil ended up being 810 gallons and come to find out it was yet another one of my mathematical errors. Guess I should have paid more attention in that college level math class required for my Associates, right.

We got the pond , Amaryllis - A Perfect Flower For the Festive Season all up and running but because of the miscalculation we now needed a bigger pump , Your Home is Your Fortress: the Art of Garden Fencing to feed the waterfall so I went to our local , Free Landscaping Ideas - How To Correctly Plant a Tree water garden , Learn All About Feng Shui Money Trees supplier and asked which one to get. Budget was a concern so it was recommended that we got a ¾ HP submersible pump , Wildflower Seeds - Ten Reasons Why You Should Plant... that cycles 44 gallons a minuet. It was only $70 in comparison to the $170 one that was its comparative alternative so"¦ we went that route. $70 dollars later we had a working pond , Tip-top Trailing Plants for Containers with a beautiful waterfall! , Wildflower Seeds - Ten Reasons Why You Should Plant... I was so excited I could hardly wait to get fish. , Grow Herbs in your Garden for Pleasure and Profit

Again budget was a concern so we went to the local , Understanding Integrated Pest Management pet store and picked up $50 dollars worth of fish, , Free Landscaping Ideas - How To Correctly Plant a Tree about 8 fish. , Basics of Landscaping 4 large gold Koi, some yellow and a blue , Daphnes for Scent and Colour Koi. The color , Two Answers to a Poinsettia FAQ: How Can I Get My Poinsettia to Rebloom? excited me so much I never considered what would happen when the fish , Tips for Garden Decoration became comfortable in their new home. , Backyard Landscape Plan - Think About Your Family's Lifestyle First The swam around investigating for a day or two then started to come up missing. , Selecting Your Gardening Tools I had it figured that they were hiding or that a cat was getting fed to well but I never figured it was something I could have done. It was the pump"¦ the intake valve on the pump , Daphnes for Scent and Colour was to large and the fish , Canopy Swings - Escape the Weather with One were getting to close and being sucked into the pump , Preparing The Garden For Winter though the motor pushed down the hose into my waterfall. , Grow Herbs in your Garden for Pleasure and Profit

While this is not a funny story, I must have cried for 3 days, I wanted to share it because this is the one thing I never read anything about in all the 6 weeks of reading I did on the web. , Daphnes for Scent and Colour I can chuckle about it now with a "˜I can"™t believe I didn"™t think of that"™ thought.

Had I known this was possible I would have done something to prevent it by caging in my pump , Landscaping Can Make or Break Curb Appeal for Homebuyers or spending the extra $100 to get the right kind of pump. , Benefit from the Expertise of a Landscaping Contractor

Hope someone else can save , Say Your Feelings with Flowers - Flower Meaning a Koi , Grow Herbs in your Garden for Pleasure and Profit by my blending experience.

Thanks,

New to ponds , Tillers - How to Find the Right Tiller for the Job and already thinking of making it fish , Do It Yourself Landscaping: 6 Things You Must Know Before You Start free!" Sheri Furr

==

Well that's it for this year's 'Funniest Pond , Outdoor Furniture and Glider-Choosing the Right Outdoor Furniture For Your Home Stories'... Hope you enjoyed them as much as I did!

**************************************************
Brett Fogle is the owner of MacArthur Water Gardens , The Beckons and several
other pond-related websites including MacArthurWatergardens.com
and Pond-Filters-Online.com. He also publishes a free monthly
newsletter called PondStuff! with a reader circulation of over
9,000. To sign up for the free newsletter and receive our FREE
'New Pond , A Beautiful Garden of Flowers Owners Guide' visit MacArthur Water Gardens , How to Clone with Success today!
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